Compromise or Coercion: Conceptualizing Experiences of Conceding to Unwanted Sexual Activity

Abstract

Sometimes individuals are talked into sexual behavior that—at least initially—they did not want. Sometimes, these situations are conceptualized as compromise; sometimes, they are conceptualized as verbal sexual coercion. The purpose of this study was to investigate the prevalence of such experiences among young adults and to identify factors that differ between situations experienced as generally positive or generally negative. Participants—150 female, 122 male, and 2 gender-variant undergraduates—completed an online questionnaire about conceding to unwanted sexual activity (CUSA), operationally defined as “a situation in which you initially did not want to engage in a sexual activity, but someone talked you into it.” They answered questions about two such experiences: one about which they felt generally positive and one about which they felt generally negative. Using quantitative and qualitative data, we compared relationship and situational characteristics that differentiated between their positive and negative CUSA experiences. Results showed that 42% of women, 34% of men, and neither gender-variant respondent reported positive experiences; 33% of women, 16% of men, and both gender-variant respondents reported negative experiences. Some respondents reported mixed feelings, reporting some negative feelings about generally positive situations and vice versa. There were several significant differences between respondents’ positive and negative experiences. Women’s negative situations were more likely than their positive situations to have involved someone they had been “talking” to or casually dating, possibly because of relationship expectations or how much the other person had tried to please them. Positive and negative situations were similar in whether they had involved positively-framed verbal approaches (e.g., saying it would be fun or good for the relationship). Negative situations were more likely than positive situations to have involved negatively-framed verbal approaches (e.g., attempts to make respondents feel guilty or inadequate; asking repeatedly so that it was easier just to give in). This study highlights that conceding to initially unwanted sexual activity could be experienced as positive, negative, or both. Conceding in order to avoid unpleasantness was especially likely to be experienced as negative. These results have implications for clinical practice, research, and sexual coercion prevention efforts, especially among college-age populations.